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Doing little things every day all adds up to a BIG future

Now is the time to actively design your future. Think long and hard about what you truly want. Are you currently happy as you are? What would it take to make you happy? Whatever is on your list, start finding a way to weave it into you life.

Plan your trip!
Plan your next move carefully. Often we lollups around from day to day, simply existing without any true idea of what we're going to do next, where we'd like to be, or how we're going to get there. You wouldn't start a holiday to Paris by simply turning left or right from the end of your street, (well I guess you COULD and you might have fun, but it would take you much longer to get to where you wanted to be if you did). Life is pretty much the same. You have to take charge of it. Steer it in the direction you want to go. Work out where you want to be then take steps to getting there.

Each day take a step closer to your goal. If you want to live in a nicer house for instance, spend time each day making your current home sparkle. Add key touches to transform it from something ordinary to something extraordinary. You don't have to spend a fortune doing this, you can do it simply and easily by keeping it clean and making small but vital changes to the way you present it. Take pride in it. If you need new furniture, measure up the space available and keep a note of this close to you, so if you see an item you'll know if it's likely to fit or not.

Land your dream job.If you're not satisfied with your current job write a list of the kind of job you want. Include in this list the types of things you would do in the day, how long your working hours are going to be, your pay structure, your work clothes, any benefits you want from your job, like a health scheme, or gym membership etc. Use visualisation and creative writing techniques to 'paint' a picture of the future you in this fabulous role. Use the present tense 'I work in a job that I love doing...' works better than thinking 'I want to work in a job that I love'.

Look carefully for options and opportunities. Often we are looking for a specific thing, when something fabulous goes completely unnoticed because we're not looking for it. Keep your eyes open for options and opportunities.

Admit to yourself what you truly want. What we want and what others think we want are often very different things. It's ok to admit the truth not only to yourself but to other people too.

Make it happen!

Is it all downhill from here?

I suddenly had a shock realization the other day. I like antiques! I crave china tea sets and shoes that don't hurt my feet. I hate trousers that nip my waist. I'm fed up of battling to choose between Cappuccino and Latte and that kind of thing when I go for a coffee. Talking of coffee, the last time I visited a pub, I ended up having a coffee rather than anything alcoholic. I can't decide whether it's because I am finally brave enough to admit to myself that I want what I want, rather than what society wants for me, or whether I am simply getting old and before you know it I will be looking for shoes with velcro, drooling over American tan tights, wanting comfortable elasticated waistbanded 'slacks' and pouring myself a Sherry before dinner. I hope it's not that, I hope instead that it's just that I have finally found my own unique style.

From an early age I was encouraged to think for myself, to be an individual and dare to be different. As a teenager it was hard to do this. Teenagers can be vile creatures, picking up on the least sign of difference and using it as a weapon to hurt you with.  I always wanted to set the trends (though I was never brave enough to do it ). Even now I want to hack a new path through the forest of choices out there and find something different and interesting, a point of interest. I don't want to be like one lady I know who got as far as about page 27 of a furniture catalogue and ordered the entire page.

I like to see the beauty in things, especially things that are not traditionally what you would describe as beautiful. There is a power station just up the coast which sits more or less on the edge of the beach. It's not beautiful as such, in fact you could argue that it is a bit of an eye sore really. A blot on the landscape. But I love it, it has such power, such beauty. Yet it's beauty is something that maybe not everyone can appreciate.

Next time I am up that way I will take a photograph and share it with you. Maybe you'll be able to see the beauty of it too.

What treasures are on your doorstep?

The other week, a friend of mine said she couldn't afford a holiday. Well you know what I'm like, always finding a way, even when it doesn't seem that possible. So I suggested on her going on a little mini holiday in her home town. Doing the touristy bit , having a lay in maybe, taking a walk, stopping off for afternoon tea, something nice for dinner, that kind of thing.

This got me thinking. What was there on MY doorstep? I am the sort of person who not only parks in the same car park, but often I park in the same space in the same car park (due to the fact my head is generally so full of ideas if I don't, I probably won't find the car again). In fact once many moons ago I not only got the wrong level, I got the wrong car park too! Oops.

Anyway I decided to take a break from parking my car in the same space in the same car park and go park somewhere else. I parked at the other end of town and decided to visit our local museum. That didn't take long, so I thought I'd potter round town, look in a few charity shops for bargains to feed my new Shabby Chic-ing everything that stays still long enough habit.

On my travels I found a lovely shop selling all kinds of colourful stuff, practical things made in the most pretty, brightly coloured way imaginable. I walked down a little snicket and found a gorgeous shop selling candles and homewares and gifts, a couple of tea rooms that I previously hadn't known existed.

Then I found a little doorway, with an arrow pointing up the stairs. I hadn't much hope for it, expecting it to be a single room above another shop, probably with an old lady manning it. Boy was I in for a shock. Upstairs was a warren of tiny antique shops selling everything from china to glass to watches, furniture, antiques, artwork, trinkets, jewelry and bric a brac. It was fabulous. I was beginning to regret only getting a couple of hours on my parking, really there was something there for everyone and I could have spent all day looking. It was so nice to find something this interesting on my doorstep, tucked away in a little alley, above a shop.

I wonder now what other treasures I've been missing out on over the years, always going the same way, doing the same things, parking in the same parking space..

I am here... (a poem for the bereaved)

 I am here

Just because you can’t see me, doesn’t mean I’ve gone.

No, my love, I’m here for you, whispering in your ear.

Find me in the wind that blows, floating the air.

See me in the sun that shines, to make your path more clear 

See me in the moonlight, shining all around,

Find me in the frost at night, covering the ground,

I am in the morning, and the evening too,

I am here beside you, thinking of you. 

I am here for you my friend, 

So do not shed a tear,

I’ll be with you forever more, 

So don’t forget I’m near.

Thank you for the love we shared,

The laughter and the tears,

Thank you for the memories, over the all years,

Thank you for being with me, in my darkest days,

Thank you for caring, in so many ways,

I’ll be with you forever more, 

So don’t forget I’m near.

I am here for you my friend, 

So do not shed a tear.

© Copyright Sarah Cooper. 2013

The 'Wrong jeans'

When I was at school I simply HATED non uniform day. Had I been a tad braver than I was I would have braved going to school in my uniform to save the embarrassment of the whole having the wrong clothes thing.

Personally I have always dressed for warmth and comfort and been happy to wear whatever fitted and felt nice on, rather than religiously following fashion. Which as a teenager didn't go down too well. In order to be cool you had to look a certain way, be a certain way, like certain things. Unlike me.

There was a girl in my form who was always horrible to me on non uniform day in particular. I always had 'the wrong jeans'. She used to laugh at me, and tell me how horrible I looked. She was lucky, she was pretty, petite and had the 'right jeans' (if there is such an item of clothing). No one laughed at her. Ever. She was cool, popular, everything I was not. I envied her. I wished she'd like me. At the time I thought that she didn't like me because I didn't have the right clothes. That I didn't fit in.  Now I realise that it wouldn't matter WHAT I wore. She wouldn't like me. I wouldn't like her that much either. We had nothing in common.

 I firmly believe that in every encounter we learn something and for years I have been puzzling what she taught me. Now I get it. She taught me that people form an opinion of you based on what you're wearing, the 'you' that you project out to the world. Rightly or wrongly it happens the world over. She taught me that people who don't like you because you don't have the 'right' accessories or look, certainly aren't going to like you any more if you get the right accessories, that new designer handbag costing hundreds of pounds or a new flashy car. She also taught me not to judge myself or others based on outward appearance. You have to dig deeper, and base  your self worth on who you are not what you have. I get the impression that she was raised to believe that you are what you have, not who you are.

If you buy something to impress someone else, you're likely to end up with the same amount of friends and a smaller bank balance, that's all. Do you really want to be friends with someone so shallow?

Why shopping isn't the answer..

Realise your own value. Know that you can't add value to yourself by shopping. You are NOT what you buy. You are NOT your bank balance. You can surround yourself with stuff but it won't complete you or fill any holes. Know that you are perfect just the way you are. If you need to find a 'filler' it just proves that you have an EMOTIONAL hole to fill. Isolate the emotional hole and close the emotional gap. No amount of shopping, eating cakes and biscuits, drinking alcohol or coffee, or smoking fags is going to properly fill the gap. If you're eating because you're bored or shopping because you're lonely or drinking to drown out an emotional pain, take little tiny steps towards changing these and filling the emotional holes. Get a hobby, join a club, seek help. 

Remember that you are no worse and no better than anyone else and you're also not what anyone tells you you are. 

Live the life you want to lead, and address the emotional problems you have as they arise. Take a minute to work out what you truly want and take a small step towards getting it. 

Shopping isn't the answer. 

Change your interpretation, change your life.

Think about a conversation you've had with someone. Or a text or email that you've received, or a status update on social media. Now think how you interpreted it. Did you take it to be amusing, genuine, condescending, irritating, self-inflating, or just down right rude? If you interpreted it to be rude or condescending, your response will have been totally different to if you interpreted it to be amusing.

Life is very like this. We tend to listen to what someone says or watch what a person does and then we put our own interpretation on it. It doesn't matter much what the person actually meant by what they say or did, we act as if they meant what we think they meant by it.

Say your partner is working late (again) and the dinner you prepared is in the bin/oven/dog (again). You might interpret this to mean that he/she is having an affair, is avoiding you, is struggling at work, is dodging helping with the children, or possibly all of the above. In fact what you partner might be doing is trying to get extra money so you can afford that holiday you need, or to pay off the credit card bill.

You could interpret his/her lack of communication (if you'd known he/she'd be this late you'd have prepared a salad, or asked him/her to pick up a takeaway on the way home.) as rudeness or lack of respect. Or simply forgetfulness on their part. If you think that the person has simply genuinely forgotten or that it was probably the fault of the evil boss landing him with an extra urgent assignment half an hour before home time, you're going to feel less angry than if you partner has shown numerous times that he doesn't value your time or effort.

The key here is to find out what the person ACTUALLY means by their actions and then react. Rather than acting on what you think is happening (which might be completely the opposite to what IS actually happening).

Are you living life in 'Safe' Mode?

Are you:

• Not taking risks for fear of failure/ being rejected/ laughed at?
• Not going for interviews in case you don't get the job or get asked something that you don't know the answer to?
• Not inviting people over for fear of being judged/ your house not being clean enough?
• Not starting that business or writing that book in case it doesn't work out?
• Not really feeling that pain, not feeling your true emotions or examining the truth?
• Not admitting what you truly want, not even to yourself?
• Saying yes to things when you'd rather say no?
• Not asking difficult questions in case you don't like the answer?
• Not asking someone special out in case they say no?
• Hiding behind your weight/ appearance?
• Not taking that risk that could change your life?
• Staying in unhealthy relationships because it seems safer than to leave?
• Staying in a horrible job because it seems safer than finding a new one?
• Following familiar 'bad' habits because it's easier than finding new ones?
• Staying stuck with a problem rather than finding a solution?

Sound horribly familiar? 

The answer is to realise that no matter what happens in life, you're actually going to be ok. It might feel embarrassing and humiliating going for a new job, asking a person out, asking difficult questions, leaving an unhealthy relationship etc. if it doesn't work out, but after a short while it will be forgotten about. 

 However if you don't take a risk you'll stay exactly where you are now. If you do take that risk you open yourself to the possibility of success. You might land that dream job, you might end up turning that special someone into your spouse. Your business might be a roaring success, your book a bestseller. Leaving a relationship could open you to opportunities to meet your ideal partner. Finding a solution to the problem might be simpler than you could possibly imagine.

Instead of throwing yourself in the deep end right now, start small. Put your risk-taking arm bands on and do something tiny, something that has a good chance of success. If you're worrying about inviting someone to do something, try inviting a friend or family member to do something that they'd previously shown interest in doing. The risk here is then minimal, it's likely that you'll get a yes. You can work up to asking your dream man/ woman out when you get more confident! 

Each day do something slightly more daring and soon you'll be out of safe mode, doing things you never dreamed you could. 

7 ways to break the procrastination habit and start writing that book.

Do you dream of writing a book but never seem to find the time? Are you always trying to get everything else done first before you start? Do the years fly by and you've STILL not made a start? Thought so.

1) Be honest with yourself. What is REALLY stopping you from making a start? Are you scared that no one will read it? That you'll spend all that time writing, and it will end up at the bottom of an editors slush pile, or being used as a coffee coaster rather than hitting the shelves? Do you think that people like you don't write best selling books? 

If you can isolate what limiting fears you have, you can work to overcome them. As the reasons come to the surface look at them with interest 'Oh that's why, is it?' and let them go, don't start believing what you've put. Just because you THINK that no one will like it, doesn't mean that no one WILL like it. 

2) Write first, do everything else later. If you really want to write this book you're going to have to shuffle your schedule round so that writing is the most important thing (aside from work and family). Leave the pots, ignore the ironing. Write first. Clean/ Iron later. Or even better..

3) Learn to delegate. You don't have to do everything around the house unless you're living by yourself. If you have family members living with you, get them to clean up after themselves, you'll be doing them a favour in the long run and also carving out time for you to write.

4) Create yourself a cozy, comfortable space to write. This could be a separate office or study if you have one, a spare bedroom, a corner of the lounge, the kitchen table, the dining room etc. Make sure you have all the writing supplies to hand and that the room is warm and inviting. No one wants to go into the garden shed with no heating in the middle of Winter. 

If space is a problem, maybe get a trolley or a box to keep your writing supplies in. You will also need a table or desk, and a comfortable chair. Again make sure they're comfortable. You will be spending plenty of time writing so you need to be comfortable. Alternatively buy yourself a large sturdy bag and keep your notebooks, pens, laptop if you use one etc in it. Take it to a coffee shop for a couple of hours a week and write there.

5.) Look at your schedule. Are there times in the week you could put aside to write? A weekend afternoon whilst your partner watches the football/goes shopping? That time when your partner wants to watch a programme that you have no interest in? When the children are asleep? Could you get up an hour earlier in the morning or go to bed an hour later at night? Or both? If you aren't working at all you could set aside a couple of days or part days a week just to write. See them as appointments and if anyone asks you if you're free tell them that you already have plans.

6.) Switch off Social Media whilst you're writing. It's too tempting to keep checking your friends status updates, your followers tweets and your email. Switch it off. You can check them later as a treat.

7.) Write. Just get on with it. Spend some time every day writing something whether it is a blog post, an article, a journal entry, or your book. Make it part of your life, rather than something you would do if you have time. If you keep at it you will soon have the shell of your book. 

How to gain an extra hour a day.

1.) Prioritize. Not everything you have on your list actually needs doing TODAY. Some of it won't need doing at all. (Cross those off your list.)  Work out which bits of your to do list you actually NEED to do, and do those.  Then stop.

2.) Limit mindless T.V viewing. It's tempting to come home, switch on the t.v. slump into a chair with a glass of wine and not move until bedtime whether their is anything useful or interesting on or not. Get a tv listings magazine and a pen (very old fashioned but believe me it works) circle the programmes you want to watch. Set the highlighted programmes to record if you can. Then switch off the tv set and do something else instead.

3.) Only watch programmes you've recorded. Zap through the adverts and you'll save about 15 mins every hour. If you haven't got a facility to record programmes, watch them on catch up on your computer.

4.) Delegate household tasks to other family members. As soon as they're able to toddle, they're able to help with some simple chores.  Train them early. Don't feel that you have to do everything you don't (unless you live on your own. If you do live on your own, tidy up as you go along. )

5.) Plan ahead. Take a few minutes each day to plan. Think what are you having for dinner for today and tomorrow? Do you have all the ingredients you need for it? What errands do you need to run (prescriptions to pick up? Dry cleaning need collecting? Stamps need buying? Invites need an RSVP? Anyone need a birthday gift/ card? If you can make a shopping list which includes the errands you need to run, you'll save time. Also try to combine trips so that you're picking up that prescription on the way to work, or picking up the dry cleaning on the way back from the library.

6.) Get up an hour earlier (or go to bed an hour later) Use the time you'd spend sleeping to do something you want to do. Read a book, write something, do yoga, take some exercise, meditate, make a start on dinner preparation.

7.) Disconnect from the world. Unplug the phone, put your mobile on silent, log out of social media, switch email off. Put a 'Do not disturb' sign on your door. (If nothing else, it will make your neighbours wonder what you're up to!)

With the time you've saved do something you want to do. Give it just an hour a day, and by the end of the year you'll have spent the equivalent of 15 full days doing it. Imagine how much you can get done in 15 full days!

The truth behind Valentines day

It's taken me a while to work it out, but I've finally got it! The whole idea of valentines day is to reaffirm the fact that you want to stay with your current partner for the coming mating season. If he wants to continue mating with you, he has to show his commitment in the form of flowers, chocolates, candlelit dinners and such like. If not, he shows you that actually he's not that interested any more giving you opportunity to find someone who does...Or he knows that actually you'll continue allowing him to mate with you for zero effort on his part!

Sending valentines cards to someone you're currently not in a relationship with is a somewhat subtle way of showing your interest (in finding a partner for the coming mating season). However it can't be too subtle or he won't know it's from you. Valentines cards can work in a mans' favour, instead of scanning the district for a suitable partner, he simply needs to find out which local lady has sent him the card and go after her, as she is likely to be a willing mating partner for the coming season.
Should the lucky chap be in a situation where he has received more than one valentines cards he should think himself very fortunate as he can then choose which of the possible options would make mating season most entertaining this year.

This is the true reason we have valentines day.

10 Ways to have a HOT Valentines Day (on a budget)

Romance doesn't have to be pricey. In fact all it needs to be is memorable and enjoyable. You can show you care without having to hire a helicopter and fly your other half to Paris. (Obviously if you have the budget to fly your other half to Paris in a helicopter, go for it. If you're a mere mortal on a budget like most people are, here are some top tips to have a great night, and not break the bank in the process)

1. Get a takeaway and turn it into a romantic picnic. Find a Picnic bench, light a candle, and eat outdoors. If it's freezing cold, rainy or snowy put picnic blankets down on the floor at home and have an indoor picnic.

2. Light the log fire and some candles, and take it in turns to give each other a candlelit massage. If you don't have any massage oil to hand, use cooking oil (Just NOT the flavoured sort. We don't want any emergency trips to A&E because you've given him a massage using that chilli oil now do we?) 

3. Take turns to blindfold each other. Feed each other treats, tantalize each other with feathers, or an ice cube. Even regular touch takes on a whole new meaning if the other person can't see what you're doing. Just don't blindfold the poor chap and leave him dangling whilst you read Cosmopolitan/ Wash up /Go for a nap. 

(well you can, just don't tell him I said so)

4. Take a bath together. Share a bottle of fizzy (wine is good, lemonade will do). Trickle some down your partner. The bubbles leave a fizzing sensation on your skin. Which is very nice....

5. Meet separately at a bar/ restaurant. Dress to impress. Make eye contact like you would if you saw him for the first time. After a few sultry stares and a couple of quick drinks, tell him he's pulled and ask him your place or mine. 

6. Play naked twister. Or strip snakes and ladders. Let your imagination run riot. Just don't try this in public.

7. Make a Sexy lucky dip jar. Write down on small pieces of paper suggested activities such as nibble/ stroke/kiss/massage *here* (insert name of body part). Take it in turns to dip in.

8. Melt chocolate. Either dip strawberries or your partner in it. Enjoy.

9. Dance naked in the rain, just don't get caught and don't scare your neighbours.

10. Pretend you're a teenager again, in lust for the very first time. His car or yours?! Remember to put the handbrake on and don't get caught. 

Mercury in retrograde again. Brace yourselves for a bumpy ride....

Mercury is in retrograde again, for those of you who are not familiar with this, basically it means that for a few weeks everything that possibly can go wrong, probably will, especially with communications and technology.  It's thought to be a particularly bad time to start new projects too.  All due to the alignment of the planets.

I am a living testament to this. So far this week I have fallen out of bed, trodden on a bottle of hand cream, put my jeans on back to front, found the telephone to be engaged every time I've tried ringing anyone (or they've been out, or on voicemail), managed to tip an entire cup of tea over the newly cleaned work top. Hopefully everything will get back to normal soon. In the meantime I am trying to take a little time to sit back and relax (whilst attempting to resist the temptation not to go back to bed and stay there until the planets start behaving again.)

10 ways to save on your supermarket bill.

1. Plan meals for only 6 days, chances are you'll have something kicking about that needs using up for the 7th day.

2. Only buy things you need THIS WEEK! Work out what you need for your weeks meal plans and only buy things if you need them THIS WEEK. If you're about out of ketchup, but are not eating anything that will need it this week buy it next week.

3. Have a 'freezer feast' every couple of weeks to use up that last few fish fingers, that spare couple of sausages, those dregs of oven chips that you never got round to using. There's no shame in everyone having one fish finger, and a sausage and a few bites of scampi, all in one meal.

4. Cut down on the amount of meat you eat. If you have even one or two days meat free during the week you save money.

5. Buy toilet rolls with smaller holes. Some rolls are more hole than roll and run out quickly. Use a better quality and less quantity.

6. Only  bulk buy things that you know you like on special offer, unless you want to be eating cut price noodles that no one likes or a brand of washing powder that makes the whole family itch.

7.  Amend your meal plans to use up whatever is in your fridge. One of our favorite meals is Tuna pasta salad, which nicely uses up all the spare bits of lettuce and cucumber and a tin of tuna and costs hardly anything.

8. Use up leftovers. If you're buying a chicken for a roast dinner, wait until it cools after cooking and pick all the chicken off it and throw in freezer bags in the freezer. This is great for making chicken pie (make some chicken gravy, add defrosted cooked chicken, a few vegetables like peas, sweetcorn etc, top with pastry and bake. Voila chicken pie, for no extra cost)

9.  Buy a bag of coffee if you like 'proper coffee'. Make yourself a proper coffee in a cafetiere. Saves queuing up at the coffee shop and gives you lots of coffees for the price of about two coffee shop coffees.

10. Do a magazine swap at work. Instead of everyone buying magazines, buy one each and then swap.

The throwaway remark that changed my life..

Yesterday I was asked the question 'If you were given £1,000 and had to spend it on yourself, but had to spend it this week or give it back, what would you spend it on?'.

At first I struggled to answer, I guess because I am not 'just' me am I? I am a mum of three and have mother in her 80's and loads of friends scattered about. To separate myself off and buy something for 'just' me, seemed an alien concept. Everything I thought of was somehow directly linked to the family in some way, or my friends. Which isn't a problem, it's just an observation. Eventually I started to come up with a list. A tablet pc, a dishwasher, a camera, a flute, a weekend away, a course, a new bed seen as though mine is the worlds comfiest bed, but probably also the world's saggiest with it. It still seemed strange though, thinking of something *just* for me.

Interestingly it stirred up old memories too. Many, many years ago, I was asked more or less the same question, by someone who we used to call my Aunt (although she was in fact no blood relation). When questioned by her on the subject, I was able to rattle off a great long list. A set of bunk beds, a colour tv for my room, a pretty new wardrobe. Instead of her smiling and nodding and saying what great things I'd picked she simply snapped 'How selfish'. I was only about ten. I didn't understand what I'd said wrong. Should I have thought only of other people? She asked me what I would buy, or what I wanted. Not who I could help, or who I could give the money to. I was TEN years old for heavens sake.

For some strange reason, ever after this, I kept checking myself for signs that I might be selfish. I started going overboard, not asking for anything, always giving to others. I stopped thinking of my own needs and wants, and always put other people's needs first. It's taken me until recently to stop doing this, I still find it difficult to ask for anything, in case I am selfish.

When asked the question yesterday, I hesitated before I answered. In fact I don't think I actually gave an answer in the end. I was scared that I might be judged negatively for wanting things just for me. That whatever the answer I gave might be the 'wrong' answer.

Maybe I've wasted years bending over backwards to show people that I'm not selfish. Maybe I haven't. Maybe the question asked in the first place shaped me into a less selfish person. Or has it simply stopped me growing into my true potential? I am not blaming my 'Aunt', I am just observing my behaviour in relation to her comment. I just wondered if anyone else could relate to this. A throw away remark (probably one the person giving it might not even remember if questioned,) been taken on board and used in a way that changed the persons life for years afterwards. Probably needlessly.

 I didn't NEED to take on board her comment that I was selfish. I didn't need to react as if it were true. I didn't need to go into actively undoing it mode. I could have simply shrugged it off, thought that it was simply her opinion, and that it didn't really matter because in my heart I knew it wasn't true. So why did I do that? Thoughts anyone?

Weekly Shop Challenge

Take a long hard look in your food cupboard/fridge/freezer. Do you really NEED to do a big food shop next week? Would a few key ingredients be enough? Obviously you'll need fresh vegetables and fruit and milk etc, but other than that can you not go shopping next week? 
At the end of the week either put the rest of your weekly budget (the money saved) into your savings account, your money jar, or give it to charity.

How mindfulness can save you money

If your money leaves your purse, make sure you know where it's going! 

Every day we have hundreds of spending decisions to make, whether to eat breakfast at home, or whether to grab something to eat on the way to work, to buy a coffee or put up with the crappy instant coffee in the office, whether to take the tube or to cycle the mile from home to office. Whether to buy that vastly reduced price neon pink scarf simply because it's vastly reduced? By the time we've got as far as our desk we've already been bombarded with choices, and that's even before we start with the massive flood of adverts just about everywhere we turn.

So how can mindfulness help? If we are actively conscious of the spending decisions we have to make, and consciously make the choices offered rather than simply moving around on auto pilot, we are likely to stay in touch with our finances and know how much we have (or haven't) got available to spend. It also helps us notice when we're buying something simply because we can buy it and when we have to buy something because we've been caught out of the house without whatever it is that we're having to buy (lunch, coffee, breakfast).

To get back in touch with your finances:

• Be aware of the spending decisions you make each day
• Spend a few minutes planning your daily spend. What's for dinner tonight? Have you got enough of *whatever* to last until next week or do you need to buy a replacement now? 
• What meals are you going to eat? Are you planning on spending money on lunch or are you taking lunch in from home? 
• Are there better offers, like would a weekly pass for the train or bus work out cheaper and less hassle than buying a daily ticket?
• Do you actually read that Sunday paper, or does it simply loiter on the coffee table until next week?
• Keep a spending diary and note down EVERYTHING you spend, yes even that chocolate bar and that cheeky latte.
• Whenever you withdraw cash, make a credit or debit card transaction, write a cheque or buy something online, try being really present in the moment. Don't just sleepily hand over your card, not really thinking about the money you're spending.

As you become more aware of what you're spending and what you're spending it on, it should be possible to make savings as you can become better prepared. It's ok to actively decide to buy lunch out in preference to being caught out without. 

If you find an item and you like it, think to yourself 'Do I really need this? Do I like it or do I LOVE it?' I used to buy items just because I could. Now I buy things because I either need them or because I simply LOVE them. If I simply like them I leave them in the shop.

Do you feel funny about money?

We all want to feel more abundant, yet money still seems to be a rude word doesn't it? How can you get your money back on track and really make it work for you? Here's how.

1) Use Cash. Set yourself a weekly amount and go get it from the bank on Monday. Handing real live cash over for a purchase really focuses you and makes you think 'do I really need this?' Using a card is too abstract, it feels like you're only moving numbers about, where as using cash feels more real. It also looks nice if you open your wallet or purse and there are nice shiny notes there. A card doesn't have the same feel at all! Using cash makes you feel richer, as you've got 'money' to spend!

If you have any money left over at the end of the week, either put it into a savings account or keep it in a pretty tin or box and use it as your 'slush fund'. Dip in to it only when you really need to or watch it grow over the months. Or add it to next weeks shopping allowance!

2) Check your bank regularly. Use internet banking and make a point of checking your statements regularly. If you do this every day or even every other day, you will soon get to grips with where your money is going and how much you have left. If internet banking is not for you make a point of getting a mini-statement from the cash point when you withdraw your cash every week.

3) Create an online calendar. If you have monthly direct debits going out, it can really help to set up an online calendar. There is usually a calender app installed in your smart phone, or you can use something like Google Calendar. Set up a repeating event for each direct debit, and any incoming payments like salary, benefits, etc. Don't add the amount, just the title, like 'car insurance' or 'water bill'. This means you can watch the flow of money into and out of your account. Make sure of course that your calendar is set to private, so it's for your eyes only.

4) Create a spreadsheet. It may seem a little old fashioned, but keeping a spreadsheet with your incomings and outgoings really makes a difference to managing your money.  As you fill in the spreadsheet it should keep a running total of how much you've got available to you. You can check it off against your bank statement.

5.) Calculate and tidy up your debts. If you have any credit card bills, store card balances, mail order catalogue balances or owe friends or family money, its time to work out what you owe and to whom so you can create an action plan of how to get rid of them! If any of your cards are currently still accruing interest, it is vital to move them to a 0% interest free option. Store cards particularly tend to have very high interest rates, so moving them is vital. Ideally move them to an interest free credit card. But sometimes even a regular interest rate credit card could be cheaper than the interest rates on some store cards so be sure to do your homework.

Usually balance transfers incur a small fee to move them but it is often not as much as it would be had you had to pay the interest on them for a month or two where they currently are. If you have several debts scattered about and have access to an interest free balance transfer option, it would be a wise idea to gather up all the debts and put them in the same place, interest free.

6.) It's payback time! Once all your debts are on interest free credit, the tip is to pay off the smallest debt first, whilst paying off the minimum payments on the others of course. Pay as much as you can afford to pay each month, without pushing you into a position where you have to create more debt. You want to avoid going over drawn or adding more to the credit card bill.

If you have only one debt to pay off, don't pay just the minimum if at all possible. It takes forever to pay back a debt if you just pay the minimum. Work out how much you can afford to spend a month on your debt repayments. You could set up a standing order or direct debit for a set amount each month on a continuous basis until the debt is repaid this way you're not having to actively remember to pay the bill every month. Make sure it covers the minimum amount they need and falls at least a few days after the date they calculate your bill.

Once the debts are all paid back set up a direct debit to your savings account and pay your usual credit card bill money directly into your savings account. 

7.) Save, Save, Save! Set up a standing order to pay yourself on pay day. This means pay some money into your savings account the minute you get paid. If it goes on pay day you're not going to notice it as much. Ideally you should be looking to save about 5-10% of your incomings but even smaller amounts add up. If you've still got debts, the bulk of your money aside from essentials should be going to repaying the debts instead, so a smaller amount would be a more sensible option. Even if you've got debts, aim to put some money away each month.

8.) Plan ahead! Every year we have big celebrations like Birthdays and Christmas/Yule and so it would be a good idea to set up a completely separate account and put even £10 a week away. If you put £10 away a week for most of the year you're looking at around £500 by Christmas.

9) Don't pay unnecessary tax! If you don't pay tax on your earnings, you might not need to pay tax on your savings, there is a form you have to fill in, which you send to your bank. see http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/forms/r85.pdf 

10) Set a savings goal! How much would you like to have saved by this time next year? Set a goal, and then regularly review how far you've got with it. Make the goal achievable but challenging enough to be exciting. If you're hoping to buy something specific with your savings goal, find a photograph of it and print it out and stick it near where you normally sit. Put it in a frame on your desk. Put your goal on a credit card sized post-it note and stick it to your card, to remind you every time you want to use it.
Good luck.