Daily Schedule for Happiness

Daily Schedule for Happiness

Twigs

Being truly alive

Most of us rush around doing lots of things to keep busy, running errands that make little real impact on our lives. Days filled with dull chores, forgetting to spend half an hour in the garden enjoying the sunshine, to sit and savour a meal, to enjoy a cold beer or glass of wine.

 Not finding time to call that friend, or to simply sit and cuddle the children. Why do we do this? Are we so afraid that someone is going to call round and see that we haven't washed up, haven't completed that report?

Life is  too short not to enjoy the garden and having lazy Sundays with family and friends. It is too short not to sit and cuddle the children, to eat on the run hardly tasting a morsel of the food in front of you.

 Next time you eat, or take a walk, really pay attention to what you're doing. Breathe in the aromas, listen to the sounds, eavesdrop a conversation on the bus, feel the wind blowing through your hair, the rain dripping onto your skin. Kick leaves in autumn listen to them crunching underfoot.Absorb the smell of open fires, of salty sea air. Hear the gulls screeching overhead. Feel truly alive. 

A walk down memory lane

As a child I spent many a happy hour fishing for tadpoles from this Fish Pond. We used to skim stones across, although I never really got the hang of it, my stones would simply plop into the water, never to be seen again. At the far right of the photograph, you can see a couple of poles. This is where the boat house used to be. It was always a bit dilapidated, but certainly there used to be more of it than there is now.

It's interesting how you remember things and when you go back you see that actually they aren't how you remember them, or things have changed. This I find very interesting. Did we perceive things incorrectly in the first place, did we apply our own meaning to what we were seeing, or was it different in those days? I was reading a book (one of many) a while ago and it referred to the idea of false memories. That at least some of the things we 'remember' we actually have never directly experienced. That we have built memories based on things we've heard, stories pieced together over the years to create a whole new memory! Yet we believe these memories, as if they're actually true. As if they did really happen. Fascinating isn't it to think that our brains could actually believe what we're telling them? That we can base our current reality ,at least to some extent on things that never actually happened.

'Hold onto small victories and build on them'  Bonita Moonshine

Time..

Time is a precious commodity.

Prioritize so that you spend your time doing those things that make you feel good, make the most difference or get you nearer to your goals.

There are many daily tasks that can be postponed, cancelled or delegated so that you can concentrate on spending time on more worthy and interesting things. 

 In business spending a little time drumming up new business is a useful activity. Make that call, send that email, make a new contact, follow up a quote.

If you’re writing a book doing some research or writing has to be more important than watching tv or playing on social networking sites. That’s not to say you shouldn’t ever do these things just be mindful of the amount of time you spend doing these things each day. Even spending an hour a day on something towards your goals will make a big difference over time.

Imagine a tap dripping into a bath tub, each little drip might not look like it would make any difference but over time, the bath will fill up, likewise, any small amounts of time you spend working towards your goal will eventually mean your goal will be reached. 

When to quit..

It is hard knowing when to give up. Giving up too soon can seem defeatist but clinging on to a relationship/ job/ habit can be damaging. Wasting energy on things that no longer serve us can ultimately lead to illness and in extreme cases death. Sometimes becoming seriously ill is a shortcut to making the changes we don’t have the courage to make or being given the sack can then free us to do something else without us actively having to make a choice. 

Where the choice isn’t ‘our fault’ no blame can be taken for making a poor choice, or wondering if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. If suddenly we don’t have grass on our side of the fence, alternative options are always more welcome.

Giving something a go and deciding it is actually not for us can then help us to put the lid back on the box and file it away or tick it off the to do list. But how long should we give it before giving up.

 If you’ve got a sick feeling at the thought of doing it then you need to rethink. Fill your life with fabulous things and experiences that make your heart sing. Do those things you love. Not just as a treat but as part of everyday life. 

Make a point of prioritizing these things. Get people to help you do things around the house (or employ a cleaner) 

Write your urgent priority list down and delegate where you can. Then only do the urgent things unless you obviously have a non-urgent but very useful job that would free you up later to do something more worthwhile.

Close any energy gaps in your life. If you’re constantly thinking about it, deal with it , either take action, find a solution or deactivate it by writing a list to be dealt with at a set later time. Or find a friend who has expertise or experience to deal with it.

Listen to your heart

What do you REALLY want? Listen to your heart.  Take some time out to consider what you would really like to do, who you would really like to be. Don't be too surprised if what you really want differs from what you think you really want. We tend to create blue prints throughout life, usually befitting that particular stage in life. When you are a teenager you probably want to stay out all night and try all those things on the list issued to you by your parents entitled 'don't do this'. You might, as you get older, want a high powered and preferably well paid job, a large house, a nice car and great holidays in the sun. Sometimes people tire of this 'perfect' lifestyle and decide they want to downsize. To spend more time at home and less time at the office, to spend time with friends and family. What you want normally evolves and adapts over time.

Unfortunately we are often so busy with everyday life that we simply drift along on lifes' conveyor belt, only to look back in a few years and think 'what am I doing here, did I want to be here? how did I end up in this job/house/situation? What would I really rather be doing right now? So we need to find out  what your heart truly desires right now this minute. Not what hubby, wife, girlfriend, kids, parents, pets want, but what YOU truly want. You, yes you!! 

Sometimes what our heart truly desires is thwarted by listening to others opinions of what they think we want, or maybe even coming back to what we wanted a while ago, which no longer holds true for us. We change, evolve and move on. What we might have wanted age 5/15/25 might not hold today.  

Sometimes we get a moment of enlightenment like a bolt from the blue, something we had not thought of ourselves either because we held limiting thoughts about our abilities or because we felt we did not deserve such a fabulous opportunity.  You will know when you are on the right track with your thinking, you get a warm buzzy feeling just below your ribcage, in the solar plexus area under the diaphragm. When you feel this you know that that is what you really want.

What CAN you do?!

What CAN you do? No, not what DO you do, what CAN  you do?

This exercise is about thinking of all those little skills that you have accumulated over your lifetime, some of which are second nature to you, probably to the extent that you no longer consciously acknowledge that you have these skills at all. The sheer fact that you can read this means that you have at the very least basic computer literacy and that you can read!

We all do other things, some people can drive, others can cook, sew, knit, decorate, play a musical instrument, fly a plane, play a particular sport, swim, write, paint, make jewellery or woodwork, some people are good at balancing the books so that there is still enough money left at the end of the month, rather than the other way round. Even making use of current technology such as sending a text or sms message, sending an email, buying or selling something on an internet auction site, online shopping, writing a word document etc all count as skills that no everyone has. Most of these skills have been used as the basis for a job for someone, somewhere in the world.

 All the above are valuable skills that can stand you in good stead for getting a job, making life easier in some way. But what else can you do?

Academic qualifications are really good to have but so are other achievements, such as music exams, ballet exams, belts in martial arts, swimming badges etc. All should be remembered and rejoiced for what they are, rather than forgotten, stashed in the back of the memory along with other childhood memorabilia. Hobbies also count. Team work skills like those used to play for your local sports team are also useful to remember both for CV's and for the self-esteem, so don't forget to add those to your 'I CAN Do' list.

If you have been a leader either at work, on a committee, or on a voluntary basis that equally should be remembered and added to your list.

 If you've ever started a club, created a business, organised a party or wedding, even made a family event like Christmas happen, this should be seen as an achievement in its own right.

No one cares if the pudding was a bit burnt, the sprouts soggy or if Aunt Mavis ended up snoring after having too much sherry trifle. The sheer fact that you got people round the table, the presents ready to be opened under the tree, the food cooked etc, is classed as a big achievement. Store your list in your active conscious, as well as in a dusty file at the back of your mind.

Next time you have a few minutes jot down ideas of all the things that you have achieved. The big things, the little things, the certificates, the adventures you've been on because you seized the opportunity to go on them. Keep the list handy and regularly add to it. Review it carefully.

 Ask your friends and family if they can think of anything to add to the list. They might have remembered something that they were really impressed by and add that to your list. The more positive feedback you get (and give to yourself for that matter) the higher your self esteem will be and the greater your confidence levels.  If you would like to you could pin the list up in a prominent place.

By the kettle, by your computer, on the back of the cupboard door where you keep the mugs or on the back of your wardrobe door can be a good place to keep it if you don't want it out on display for the whole world to see.

Everytime you have a good day, or something goes right add it to the list. Keep a positive journal, where you write down anything that's gone really well. When you have a bad day, have a look at the journal, and see the times that things did go right ,when you were happy with your progress. Hopefully this will give you a boost and show you that things don't always go wrong and make you feel happy again.

Favorite Places

One of my favorite places in the world, somewhere near Masham in North Yorkshire, England.

Investing in You.

It's ok to take time out, enjoy a treat once in a while!

There is no wonder why illness is so prevalent in adults. We prioritise everyone else but ourselves. Instead of playing out with our friends whilst someone else makes our dinner, we're worrying about everything from cellulite to how to pay the gas bill, trying to do a million things at once and getting no where fast. Instead of doing something for the intrinsic pleasure it brings, we end up spending time doing those things that we 'should' be doing, not those things that make us truly happy.

Taking time out for many adults seems a forgotten pleasure. Why is this? Who said that life should be hard work, filled with repetitive and often monotonous activity? Why is it so bad to treat ourselves once in a while to a small bar of chocolate, a lazy bath, an afternoon nap? A massage or other treatment. To ride a bike up and down the street just because we can rather than an arduous trip to the gym, sweating in a confined space breathing in exhaled air from other people? Why is taking a walk in the park seen to be a luxury these days? 

Why don't we take a proper lunch break away from the desk, away from the stress of work and have a proper break? I reckon that the time spent having a proper leisurely lunch would be a fabulous investment, not a waste of work time. Taking a break away from the screen, having some fresh air, a change of scenery, maybe even talking to someone would make a huge difference to productivity for the rest of the afternoon. 

Same goes for taking a break when you're a parent or carer, if it is possible to take a proper break and have some time doing things that you would like to do, your coping mechanisms will be replenished and you will feel much better.A trip to the cinema either alone or with friends can be a real treat, especially if its a mid-week quiet showing and you have the place to yourself!

 However I realise that sometimes its not possible to find child care or alternative care if you're a carer which can be a problem. In this case taking even a short amount of time to do something for yourself can be a huge bonus. This could be spending a short time reading, or taking a bath, or treating yourself to a nice bar of chocolate and a magazine. 

'But I would feel guilty' you cry! Well don't feel guilty without taking a break the whole system will go down, so its important that you look after yourself and do things that make your heart sing on a regular basis. 

Looking after your emotional health by taking breaks, some regular exercise and some fresh air can make all the difference to not only your work or family life but to your mood too. It actively alters the chemical balance within you, releasing those all important endorphins giving you a natural high. Fabulous! 

True Confidence

Some people exude confidence. As they enter a room, their aura floods the space making a grand entrance before them. The person holds their head high, back straight, walking tall. Smiling graciously as they cross the floor. People find them attractive, like a shiny jewel in a shop waiting to be taken home. But how deep is this persons confidence really? Is the whole thing a glossy performance, covering up the quaking within? Does the person really feel confident? How can you tell? It may not always be possible to differentiate between a truly confident person and 'one faking it till they make it.'

A firm sense of self belief goes a long way towards true confidence. How can confidence be raised? Initially by acknowledging your achievements, by setting boundaries of what you will and won't except, by adopting the body language of a confident person. By giving things a go and not giving up when the going gets tough.

Do YOU have true confidence? 

 Remembering that you CAN do so much even if somewhere along the line you have 'forgotten' how much you can do. Whether it is because you are in a job that only focusses on certain types of activity, or whether you're currently not in work, or maybe you're a full time parent or home-maker and so lots of the things you've done before are pushed into the darkest corners of your mind, gathering dust. Sometimes you have to play a little, scroll back to an earlier time when you were a little more confident perhaps. Being gentle with yourself, forgiving yourself minor sins. Allowing a few crumbs to settle on the carpet of life, without feeling the need to sweep them away. To spend time simply 'being' rather than constantly doing.

Spend time today thinking about the times when something has gone right, or you have achieved a sense of satisfaction, whether it has been making a delicious dinner enjoyed by family and friends, taking a photograph that blows your breath away, starting writing that book that you've always fancied writing. Really focus on the sensation you can remember, the feelings that success brought with it. Treasure it, and add it to your personal stash of achievements. Next time you're feeling worthless or down get it out, read it and remember that actually you can do it, that you are worthwhile and that you have a right to be proud of yourself.