Are you living life in 'Safe' Mode?

Are you:

• Not taking risks for fear of failure/ being rejected/ laughed at?
• Not going for interviews in case you don't get the job or get asked something that you don't know the answer to?
• Not inviting people over for fear of being judged/ your house not being clean enough?
• Not starting that business or writing that book in case it doesn't work out?
• Not really feeling that pain, not feeling your true emotions or examining the truth?
• Not admitting what you truly want, not even to yourself?
• Saying yes to things when you'd rather say no?
• Not asking difficult questions in case you don't like the answer?
• Not asking someone special out in case they say no?
• Hiding behind your weight/ appearance?
• Not taking that risk that could change your life?
• Staying in unhealthy relationships because it seems safer than to leave?
• Staying in a horrible job because it seems safer than finding a new one?
• Following familiar 'bad' habits because it's easier than finding new ones?
• Staying stuck with a problem rather than finding a solution?

Sound horribly familiar? 

The answer is to realise that no matter what happens in life, you're actually going to be ok. It might feel embarrassing and humiliating going for a new job, asking a person out, asking difficult questions, leaving an unhealthy relationship etc. if it doesn't work out, but after a short while it will be forgotten about. 

 However if you don't take a risk you'll stay exactly where you are now. If you do take that risk you open yourself to the possibility of success. You might land that dream job, you might end up turning that special someone into your spouse. Your business might be a roaring success, your book a bestseller. Leaving a relationship could open you to opportunities to meet your ideal partner. Finding a solution to the problem might be simpler than you could possibly imagine.

Instead of throwing yourself in the deep end right now, start small. Put your risk-taking arm bands on and do something tiny, something that has a good chance of success. If you're worrying about inviting someone to do something, try inviting a friend or family member to do something that they'd previously shown interest in doing. The risk here is then minimal, it's likely that you'll get a yes. You can work up to asking your dream man/ woman out when you get more confident! 

Each day do something slightly more daring and soon you'll be out of safe mode, doing things you never dreamed you could. 

7 ways to break the procrastination habit and start writing that book.

Do you dream of writing a book but never seem to find the time? Are you always trying to get everything else done first before you start? Do the years fly by and you've STILL not made a start? Thought so.

1) Be honest with yourself. What is REALLY stopping you from making a start? Are you scared that no one will read it? That you'll spend all that time writing, and it will end up at the bottom of an editors slush pile, or being used as a coffee coaster rather than hitting the shelves? Do you think that people like you don't write best selling books? 

If you can isolate what limiting fears you have, you can work to overcome them. As the reasons come to the surface look at them with interest 'Oh that's why, is it?' and let them go, don't start believing what you've put. Just because you THINK that no one will like it, doesn't mean that no one WILL like it. 

2) Write first, do everything else later. If you really want to write this book you're going to have to shuffle your schedule round so that writing is the most important thing (aside from work and family). Leave the pots, ignore the ironing. Write first. Clean/ Iron later. Or even better..

3) Learn to delegate. You don't have to do everything around the house unless you're living by yourself. If you have family members living with you, get them to clean up after themselves, you'll be doing them a favour in the long run and also carving out time for you to write.

4) Create yourself a cozy, comfortable space to write. This could be a separate office or study if you have one, a spare bedroom, a corner of the lounge, the kitchen table, the dining room etc. Make sure you have all the writing supplies to hand and that the room is warm and inviting. No one wants to go into the garden shed with no heating in the middle of Winter. 

If space is a problem, maybe get a trolley or a box to keep your writing supplies in. You will also need a table or desk, and a comfortable chair. Again make sure they're comfortable. You will be spending plenty of time writing so you need to be comfortable. Alternatively buy yourself a large sturdy bag and keep your notebooks, pens, laptop if you use one etc in it. Take it to a coffee shop for a couple of hours a week and write there.

5.) Look at your schedule. Are there times in the week you could put aside to write? A weekend afternoon whilst your partner watches the football/goes shopping? That time when your partner wants to watch a programme that you have no interest in? When the children are asleep? Could you get up an hour earlier in the morning or go to bed an hour later at night? Or both? If you aren't working at all you could set aside a couple of days or part days a week just to write. See them as appointments and if anyone asks you if you're free tell them that you already have plans.

6.) Switch off Social Media whilst you're writing. It's too tempting to keep checking your friends status updates, your followers tweets and your email. Switch it off. You can check them later as a treat.

7.) Write. Just get on with it. Spend some time every day writing something whether it is a blog post, an article, a journal entry, or your book. Make it part of your life, rather than something you would do if you have time. If you keep at it you will soon have the shell of your book. 

How to gain an extra hour a day.

1.) Prioritize. Not everything you have on your list actually needs doing TODAY. Some of it won't need doing at all. (Cross those off your list.)  Work out which bits of your to do list you actually NEED to do, and do those.  Then stop.

2.) Limit mindless T.V viewing. It's tempting to come home, switch on the t.v. slump into a chair with a glass of wine and not move until bedtime whether their is anything useful or interesting on or not. Get a tv listings magazine and a pen (very old fashioned but believe me it works) circle the programmes you want to watch. Set the highlighted programmes to record if you can. Then switch off the tv set and do something else instead.

3.) Only watch programmes you've recorded. Zap through the adverts and you'll save about 15 mins every hour. If you haven't got a facility to record programmes, watch them on catch up on your computer.

4.) Delegate household tasks to other family members. As soon as they're able to toddle, they're able to help with some simple chores.  Train them early. Don't feel that you have to do everything you don't (unless you live on your own. If you do live on your own, tidy up as you go along. )

5.) Plan ahead. Take a few minutes each day to plan. Think what are you having for dinner for today and tomorrow? Do you have all the ingredients you need for it? What errands do you need to run (prescriptions to pick up? Dry cleaning need collecting? Stamps need buying? Invites need an RSVP? Anyone need a birthday gift/ card? If you can make a shopping list which includes the errands you need to run, you'll save time. Also try to combine trips so that you're picking up that prescription on the way to work, or picking up the dry cleaning on the way back from the library.

6.) Get up an hour earlier (or go to bed an hour later) Use the time you'd spend sleeping to do something you want to do. Read a book, write something, do yoga, take some exercise, meditate, make a start on dinner preparation.

7.) Disconnect from the world. Unplug the phone, put your mobile on silent, log out of social media, switch email off. Put a 'Do not disturb' sign on your door. (If nothing else, it will make your neighbours wonder what you're up to!)

With the time you've saved do something you want to do. Give it just an hour a day, and by the end of the year you'll have spent the equivalent of 15 full days doing it. Imagine how much you can get done in 15 full days!

The truth behind Valentines day

It's taken me a while to work it out, but I've finally got it! The whole idea of valentines day is to reaffirm the fact that you want to stay with your current partner for the coming mating season. If he wants to continue mating with you, he has to show his commitment in the form of flowers, chocolates, candlelit dinners and such like. If not, he shows you that actually he's not that interested any more giving you opportunity to find someone who does...Or he knows that actually you'll continue allowing him to mate with you for zero effort on his part!

Sending valentines cards to someone you're currently not in a relationship with is a somewhat subtle way of showing your interest (in finding a partner for the coming mating season). However it can't be too subtle or he won't know it's from you. Valentines cards can work in a mans' favour, instead of scanning the district for a suitable partner, he simply needs to find out which local lady has sent him the card and go after her, as she is likely to be a willing mating partner for the coming season.
Should the lucky chap be in a situation where he has received more than one valentines cards he should think himself very fortunate as he can then choose which of the possible options would make mating season most entertaining this year.

This is the true reason we have valentines day.

10 Ways to have a HOT Valentines Day (on a budget)

Romance doesn't have to be pricey. In fact all it needs to be is memorable and enjoyable. You can show you care without having to hire a helicopter and fly your other half to Paris. (Obviously if you have the budget to fly your other half to Paris in a helicopter, go for it. If you're a mere mortal on a budget like most people are, here are some top tips to have a great night, and not break the bank in the process)

1. Get a takeaway and turn it into a romantic picnic. Find a Picnic bench, light a candle, and eat outdoors. If it's freezing cold, rainy or snowy put picnic blankets down on the floor at home and have an indoor picnic.

2. Light the log fire and some candles, and take it in turns to give each other a candlelit massage. If you don't have any massage oil to hand, use cooking oil (Just NOT the flavoured sort. We don't want any emergency trips to A&E because you've given him a massage using that chilli oil now do we?) 

3. Take turns to blindfold each other. Feed each other treats, tantalize each other with feathers, or an ice cube. Even regular touch takes on a whole new meaning if the other person can't see what you're doing. Just don't blindfold the poor chap and leave him dangling whilst you read Cosmopolitan/ Wash up /Go for a nap. 

(well you can, just don't tell him I said so)

4. Take a bath together. Share a bottle of fizzy (wine is good, lemonade will do). Trickle some down your partner. The bubbles leave a fizzing sensation on your skin. Which is very nice....

5. Meet separately at a bar/ restaurant. Dress to impress. Make eye contact like you would if you saw him for the first time. After a few sultry stares and a couple of quick drinks, tell him he's pulled and ask him your place or mine. 

6. Play naked twister. Or strip snakes and ladders. Let your imagination run riot. Just don't try this in public.

7. Make a Sexy lucky dip jar. Write down on small pieces of paper suggested activities such as nibble/ stroke/kiss/massage *here* (insert name of body part). Take it in turns to dip in.

8. Melt chocolate. Either dip strawberries or your partner in it. Enjoy.

9. Dance naked in the rain, just don't get caught and don't scare your neighbours.

10. Pretend you're a teenager again, in lust for the very first time. His car or yours?! Remember to put the handbrake on and don't get caught. 

Mercury in retrograde again. Brace yourselves for a bumpy ride....

Mercury is in retrograde again, for those of you who are not familiar with this, basically it means that for a few weeks everything that possibly can go wrong, probably will, especially with communications and technology.  It's thought to be a particularly bad time to start new projects too.  All due to the alignment of the planets.

I am a living testament to this. So far this week I have fallen out of bed, trodden on a bottle of hand cream, put my jeans on back to front, found the telephone to be engaged every time I've tried ringing anyone (or they've been out, or on voicemail), managed to tip an entire cup of tea over the newly cleaned work top. Hopefully everything will get back to normal soon. In the meantime I am trying to take a little time to sit back and relax (whilst attempting to resist the temptation not to go back to bed and stay there until the planets start behaving again.)

10 ways to save on your supermarket bill.

1. Plan meals for only 6 days, chances are you'll have something kicking about that needs using up for the 7th day.

2. Only buy things you need THIS WEEK! Work out what you need for your weeks meal plans and only buy things if you need them THIS WEEK. If you're about out of ketchup, but are not eating anything that will need it this week buy it next week.

3. Have a 'freezer feast' every couple of weeks to use up that last few fish fingers, that spare couple of sausages, those dregs of oven chips that you never got round to using. There's no shame in everyone having one fish finger, and a sausage and a few bites of scampi, all in one meal.

4. Cut down on the amount of meat you eat. If you have even one or two days meat free during the week you save money.

5. Buy toilet rolls with smaller holes. Some rolls are more hole than roll and run out quickly. Use a better quality and less quantity.

6. Only  bulk buy things that you know you like on special offer, unless you want to be eating cut price noodles that no one likes or a brand of washing powder that makes the whole family itch.

7.  Amend your meal plans to use up whatever is in your fridge. One of our favorite meals is Tuna pasta salad, which nicely uses up all the spare bits of lettuce and cucumber and a tin of tuna and costs hardly anything.

8. Use up leftovers. If you're buying a chicken for a roast dinner, wait until it cools after cooking and pick all the chicken off it and throw in freezer bags in the freezer. This is great for making chicken pie (make some chicken gravy, add defrosted cooked chicken, a few vegetables like peas, sweetcorn etc, top with pastry and bake. Voila chicken pie, for no extra cost)

9.  Buy a bag of coffee if you like 'proper coffee'. Make yourself a proper coffee in a cafetiere. Saves queuing up at the coffee shop and gives you lots of coffees for the price of about two coffee shop coffees.

10. Do a magazine swap at work. Instead of everyone buying magazines, buy one each and then swap.