More is well... More....

Do you eat breakfast? For years I've shied away from the idea, after reading an advert for a particular brand of cereal aimed at the slimming market. It stated that you should have half a grapefruit, a small glass of fruit juice and a black coffee, along with a tiny portion of this particular cereal, in order for you to be nice and slim and not gain weight. Some switch flicked over in my brain at that point, and I made a connection ~ eat breakfast and be fat, don't eat breakfast, or only eat a tiny breakfast and stay slim. How wrong I was...It got to the stage where I was only having a coffee for breakfast (made with milk, if that counts) then after a while, not even that. By 10am I was starving and reaching for the biscuits, the treats, you name it, I wanted it. But as it wasn't a 'meal' I couldn't get fat, right?  It wouldn't occur to me to go to the shops in the car without adding petrol first, but yet I was expecting my body to work it's magic on either nothing, a mug of coffee, or a tiny tiny portion of cereal and half a grapefruit.
Recently however we've tried a new idea. To have breakfast sat at the table, with fruit juice and a pot of tea, and either cereals, croissants, pain au chocolat, something cooked, porridge or toast. Making a proper occasion of it, and boy does it feel better? Suddenly instead of being hungry and cranky all morning, I feel energized and not wanting to eat anything until lunch. Result.
They say in fact you should make breakfast your main meal, so you can utilize the calories properly and this of course would make sense, maybe in time I will work towards that. After all it's early days yet. It would make perfect sense not to over fill your digestive system with calories at the exact point in the day when you're doing your least physical activity.

Having breakfast is also a good way of getting a few portions of fruit down everyone. A glass of juice, that's a portion, a banana sliced up and added to cereal is another. So that's two portions ticked off before you even leave the house for the day.

Looking beyond the veneer

It's amazing how things come to you when you're busy doing something else. Like hanging out the washing, or mowing the lawn. I was hanging out the washing earlier when I realized over the years I have missed so many opportunities mainly due to insecurities taking over, or thinking things that you believe to be true, only when you stop and take a closer look you realize that it's just another story you've been telling yourself.

Sometimes we get so caught up in the drama of what we think that we stick to the stories we've created rather than looking at the cold hard facts. 

You might feel unloved, but is it actually true? Are you? For years I felt not only unloved but unlovable. Not because I had any hard evidence of the fact, just what I felt deep down inside. The problem with feeling like something is true, is that we tend to then act as if it is true too. So for years I acted like I was unloved and unlovable! It became a habit, a way of life. I looked out actively for any tiny indication I could find that this was true. All the time I was looking for proof that I was unloved and unlovable. A double whammy. Anything that would indicate that actually the opposite was true would send me running in the opposite direction, if I brought myself to acknowledge this at all in the first place. 

I felt unworthy if someone so much as bought me a coffee. Why would they bother? I am unlovable, so buying a coffee for me doesn't fit! Is the person mad? What do they want in return? Something far more valuable?

Why? You might ask. I have no idea why. It seemed a good idea at the time. It seemed to make sense, to me at least. What purpose did it serve? In some bizarre way, it kept me safe. I didn't have to do anything that other people did, because I wasn't loved, I wasn't lovable enough. I guess this is a natural extension of the idea of not being good enough. It also seemed that whilst I wasn't loved, or lovable, I wasn't good enough either. It felt like I was constantly being compared to a couple of younger girls in my area, they were good enough because they were able to do things that I couldn't do. I realise now that it wasn't so much that I wasn't good enough, more that I was being encouraged to be the best I could be. But I took it to mean that nothing I did was ever good enough. That because I wasn't good enough, I therefore couldn't be loved either. In order to be loved, you have to be lovable, and I wasn't that either, or so I told myself. I never once saw myself as being in any way adequate. I shrugged off compliments, and lapped up anyone who told me I was stupid, because it fitted in with my beliefs. So relationships naturally didn't really work for me. It must be incredibly hard being with someone who cannot see their own goodness. Who feels that they are not worthy of good things. Who feels that they cannot be loved or lovable because they don't feel it in their hearts. Who actively look out for and pounce on any behaviour that could possibly back up the theory that I am not good enough, worthy enough, or lovable. In the end it seemed safer to be on my own. Finally I didn't have to spend days looking for clues to prove what I had been telling myself all along. I had my proof. Or so I thought.

Can I change the habit of a lifetime? Can I truly believe that I am loved and lovable? 

What does Abundance mean to you?

Abundance can mean a variety of things, from having financial wealth, to having your needs met with ease. It can mean having plenty of time to enjoy your family, friends and hobbies, it can mean having available to you the resources you need to live life without too much struggle.

How abundant are you? Are you able to do the things you want to do in life, or do you have to pick between doing some of the things you love and covering the essentials? Do you have a support network available to catch you if you fall, with no expectant agenda? Is it safe for you to receive without you having to 'give' something back to the other person there and then? Have you people around you who love you just because you're you, without you having to edit yourself out the whole time? Are you in a job that you love? Do you have all that you need to live your life authentically? Do you feel confident to say what is truly on your mind without fear of being judged? Can you give to charities and fundraising events without leaving yourself short at the end of the month? If so you are truly abundant.

Choose, Believe, Receive ~A Beginners Guide to Cosmic Ordering.

The new moon is the ideal time to manifest ( or bring new) things into your life, to form new friendships, cultivate old friendships, start new courses and projects and generally make more of your life.

You can bring new things into your life by visualizing clearly what you want. This bit is important. You need to focus only on what it is that you DO want. Let go of any images of what you don't want. If you know exactly what it is that you do want, you've got a much greater chance of getting it. Also if you know exactly what you want, you will be able to recognize it as such if you saw it in a shop, and you will be able to communicate to someone else what it is that you want. Cosmic Ordering is a bit like getting someone else to do your shopping for you. 

Imagine you sent someone to the shop to buy  you 'something'. They are going to come back with any random thing (or give up and come back empty handed because they have no idea what it is that you want)  However, if you tell them that you want say, Jaffa Cakes, chances are the person will come back with Jaffa cakes, or if they're out of stock , they might come back with something similar, like chocolate biscuits or a sponge cake, or something else that will do instead of jaffa cakes. But if you'd sent them to get 'something' they'd struggle. The universe is a bit similar to this. The universe might be able to send you a new job, house, relationship or car, but only if you're clear that this is what you want and you can imagine yourself with it.

If you find that you want a new job, relationship, house or car, but you don't believe truly in your heart that you should have one, or even  that it's possible to get a new relationship, etc, then you're going to give the universe signals similar to 'please get me jaffa cakes, erm no don't, oh yes do, erm maybe I shouldn't have jaffa cakes...' Very annoying. Either you want them, or you don't! Make your mind up! You CAN have what you want, don't let the age old ego problem get in the way. It doesn't matter WHO you are , you can have what you want, you just have to BELIEVE you can have it.

Once you've got to the point where actually you've decided what you want, you believe you can get it, then you must get ready to receive it. Receiving your order might come in the form of someone giving what you want as a gift, it could be that you happen to be in the right shop at the right time and find the exact thing you're looking for. It could be that you get a strong inclination to go somewhere new, or a  chance meeting with a stranger who either is the exact person you're looking for or who has connections with the person who can help you with your quest. 

Whatever you do, go out there and try to meet it half way, don't expect that it will simply drift to you, now you've got a focus, go and seek it out. Go and check some job vacancies online or ask your friends if they know of any jobs going that you might be suitable for, if you're trying to manifest a new job. Or if you're looking for love try either joining an online dating agency, asking around your friends if they have any single friends they could introduce you to, if you're looking for a new car, go check out the deals at the local car garage, get yourself a copy of Auto Trader or similar magazine. If you're looking for a new house, give your old house a good clean and declutter, go visit some Estate Agencies, see what is out there. 

Don't forget when you do get it to say thank you. Just like when you send your nieces and nephews a present, you like to get a nice 'Thank you' ~ The universe too likes to be thanked for the things it gives you. 

Repeat the process with whatever you'd like the universe to give you!

The 5 year Time Machine

In 5 years time, you'll look back and think
 'What was I  worrying about?'

What were you doing 5 years ago? Where were you? Who were you living with? How did you feel? Compared to now, how were you doing? What were the things that really mattered to you? If you looked back at a diary or journal entry for this time 5 years ago, what kind of things were worrying you? What did you fear?

Now, 5 years on, are they still worrying you? Did any of the things you were worrying about 5 years ago actually happen? If they did happen, what was the outcome? Was it as bad as you feared, much better than you thought it would be or worse? I bet that either you can't remember what was worrying you 5 years ago, or that most of the things that were worrying you didn't happen, or worked out far better than you'd planned.

 Can you remember that far back? I have some memories of this time period, I was going through a big change in my life at that time, and shortly after made some dramatic moves in my personal life, which changed the way the rest of these 5 years panned out. However the things I was worrying about then worked out better than I had planned or simply didn't happen at all. There are a few things that I would have changed, given half the chance but on the whole things worked out pretty well.

Scroll on 5 years. What are you expecting to happen in the next 5 years? What do you fear, what do you dream of happening? What do you think might happen? What worries you? Is there anything that currently keeps you awake at night? Is there anywhere you'd like to visit? Write it down in your journal or diary, or just in a notebook, make sure you make note of the date and time, so that you can look back and see what you were worried about. Chances are when you read your diary or journal back in 5 years time you will be thinking 'What? Who? Did I worry about that?' It will all work out for the best in the end. Have faith. Start visualizing a great future and each day take a few steps towards your fabulous future.

Starting a journal (or adding to it regularly if you already have one) is a great idea. It gives you the opportunity to literally see what you were thinking about on any given day. It is a great way to get things off your chest, making you think straighter and to stop worrying about things, as you've written them down.
Once you've written your worries and fears down you could consider what you would say to the other person should you be asked to give advice on the subject. Often this reveals plenty of wisdom, as we all know deep down what the answer to our problems is, we just need to dig deep enough to find it.

Goal of the day

Time to get your serious face on, and go set a goal for today! GO! 

What is your goal for today? Just one simple thing you'd like to get done before your head crashes onto your pillow later? It could be something big, like deciding a big life decision, it could be making a phone call, that could either secure you a new contract, a date, or a job offer. It could be to thoroughly tidy up a room and offer for sale any items you no  longer need. It could be simply spending time with those you love, or going for a run or a long walk with the dog. It could be simply to do nothing. It might be to finish off reading that book that you borrowed from a friend months ago, that has been sitting on your shelf ever since.

Write down your goal on a piece of paper or post-it sticker. 

Decide when you're going to get it done by (a time) 

Go do it! 

Let me know what your goal was, how well you got on and what tomorrows goal is going to be! 

Why don't we play anymore?

Last night my teenage daughters were doing their homework for their BTEC in Health and Social Care. They were asked to ask a family member for a list of things they used to do as a child, and a list of the things they do now as an adult, and to compare and contrast the two things. So I set about writing my list. Remembering many happy hours climbing trees, playing with toys, creating things just for the sake of creating things, sewing, painting, writing stories, playing out with friends, baking things (mainly to sell to my poor disgruntled parents who were not overly happy at having to pay for things that I'd created out of the ingredients that they'd been the ones to buy in the first place!) We used to spend many happy hours playing tig in the garden or a variation on the theme of this called Blockee which basically is where people hide, and try to get back to base before the person who is 'it' sees you. Great game, especially if you play it at night with a torch.

These days my life is littered with a series of repetitive tasks, such as work, housework, cleaning,  cooking, shopping, paying bills etc. A lot of the stuff that I do outside of my 'grown up duties' tend to be nothing terribly exciting. How has this happened? What happened to my younger self who believed that life was full of infinite possibilities?

 If my teenage self could see me now, there would be serious trouble. She'd be shocked! I had ambitions. I was going to live abroad. In fact at one point my ambition in life was to live somewhere hot and sunny so I could sit and sip cocktails all day under a palm tree. Then I had children and suddenly my ambitions changed, overnight my only burning ambition was to go to the loo unaccompanied and to drink an entire hot cup of tea. I still have a bit of a desire to travel through Europe, but not the fast route. No what I fancy doing is setting off one summer, and traveling down through England (taking some of the more scenic routes, stopping off for coffee along the way, maybe taking in a museum here and an exhibition or festival there. Then hopping either on a ferry or on the Eurostar and going down through France, Germany, Italy, Austria, Poland etc, and then coming back a slightly different route. Again stopping off and finding the fun things to do on the way, not rushing and certainly not just flying down the motorway. No, making it a real journey instead. An adventure even.

I'd also like to go to America, I can't make my mind up between San Francisco, New York, or Texas. I am avoiding LA at all costs because I like food and I hear that it's not the fashion to eat that much in LA!

I really believe that we only grow old when we loose track of our younger selves, and who we are at our very essence. We seem to spend so long trying to strive to be grown up, but what does this mean? Does it mean that we have to give up playing because we've grown up? I don't think so, I think we can still play, albeit with different toys. We can choose to be playful and creative with what we do in life, we can bring playfulness and creativity into our lives at work (unless of course you work in a factory where you have to put a set part in a set place or if you're a brain surgeon. I doubt there are many opportunities for a brain surgeon to be truly creative at work, you can't suddenly decide to rearrange the way the brain is laid out, can you? *tempting though this would be* )

You can add an element of playfulness into your life by taking a different route to work, going somewhere new, booking a holiday of a lifetime (no, please don't send me the bill!) listening to a new genre of music, taking up a new hobby, going to a different style restaurant than you would normally choose, learning a new language, or just playing like you used to play. Buy yourself a pack of coloured pencils and a colouring book or sketch pad and just play. Write a piece of fiction, or a poem. Make a den. These days you will probably have a bigger budget so the den you build could be in a whole room of your house, and be up permanently. Go for delicious colours, warm textures, cosy hues, comfort, or make it simply a fun place to hang out after a long day at work. ....I dare you!